Wednesday, May 2, 2012

I found out I have prostate cancer; stage 1.  I learned that I can be sick without feeling sick.  Vulnerable when I think I'm strong and healthy.  The good thing is that this has forced me to think about what I value in being alive; what I want to do with my short time on earth.  It's not what I'm spending my days doing. 

Saturday, April 14, 2012

Healing Mt. Tamalpais

A day spent hiking and running on the glorious trails of Mt. Tam. Cicadas clicking in the brush, hawks screeching overhead, rushing water in streams overflowing from last Thursday's thunderstorm.

Fresh green growth I pass through and passes through me. "The force that through the green fuse drives the flower drives my green age." Dylan Thomas

Saturday, March 10, 2012

Music, cont.

"The power of music to integrate and quite fundamental. [It is the] profoundest nonchemical medication."

--Oliver Sacks

Monday, February 13, 2012


When I was alone in my Father's house, trying to comprehend the unfathomable event of his death, I did not want to hear any more words, condolences and "call me if you need anything." These words, though probably said with good intentions, rang hollow after receiving them one after the other. I wanted music. I just wanted to listen to music. Only music could understand and address the agony in my soul.

The sympathy cards, bought from Walgreens for $2.50, did nothing.

Sunday, February 5, 2012

Father died

My Father died Monday, January 30th at 7:30pm in the ICU at Corona Regional Hospital. I was there when he died; it is the first death I've ever witnessed. I tried talking to him as I held his hand but he never regained consciousness.

After his death I had to immediately talk with the Coroner's Office about the details of his accident and surgery and with the mortician about releasing the body for delivery to the crematorium.

This was the worse week of my life. There are things I wanted to say to my Father, things I wanted to ask him about his life, and the chance to do this is gone forever.

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Please comment.

If you read my blog and something I say resonates with you, please make a comment. Otherwise, I think no one is reading it except me.



Happy connections

To my delight I learned that someone read my blog entries. I thought they were words that only I read.

I also learned that a poem I submitted, and forgotten about, was accepted by an online journal that originates in New York. It's the first time my work has been accepted by a publication in New York.

I'm happy to make these connections; to be noticed and listened to. We owe this to everyone we encounter as we pass through our brief lives. What are we but memories that disappear unless they are recorded through some medium?